April 10, 2020
If We Shopped Offline Like We Do Online | eCommerce Parody

If We Shopped Offline Like We Do Online | eCommerce Parody

Actually, I’m just going to leave that there. oh excuse me miss!
You can’t just leave your basket. Oh will you give me 10% off to pick it up? What? No. Bye bye! hi excuse me! hi hi excuse me!
Yes, how can I help you? I was just wondering could you remove all of the
products that contained gluten from this aisle? Well all of our gluten-free
products that are just here yes but I Yes. but I can still see all the gluten and stuff.
I just want to see the gluten free products. … I don’t want to be able to see anything
with gluten in erm… So if you could get rid of them or.. move them or something… Hide them.
That’d be great How much is that one? Which one…? Is there a problem Ma’am?
Oh yeah! Could you sort everything by price? Just the entire store by price
low to high The entire store? Can you do it in like the next half a second?
I’m getting impatient & I’m going to leave. Oh… erm.. Too slow. Forget it. Hey how long is the queue for checkout?
Hi! It’s only a minute. A minute! Are you joking?
At Amazon it takes like a second. Well, I’m sorry – I mean it’s not that long of a wait. I’ve got all this now, I’m going to have to wait aren’t I We’ll go as quick as we can.
That’s crazy. I’m sorry… Beans
Oh hi, there you go they are just here. Bread
Oh, erm, this way. Milk
Milk, yes that’s just there. Cream
And the cream is just below it, yes. Tampons
You’ll find those in the feminine hygiene aisle. Gins
That’s just.. Pasta Mushrooms
If you look over there… Honey Cheese Hey, do you accept Amazon pay?
Oh no we don’t sorry Okay, I’ll just use PayPal
We don’t accept PayPal but you can use Apple Pay! Urgh. Sorry… Anything I can help you with Ma’am? Oh no, thanks. I’m just seeing what my
twitter, instagram, pinterest, linkedin foursquare, flickr, reddit
Google+ and Facebook friends think of this grape juice.
Okay then… Oh I wonde if there’s a video review on YouTube Hi, do you do free next day delivery? Erm… no…
You just take it with you Ah right, so it’s just click & collect then? Well… no… it’s just collect … Anything I can help you with?
No, I hate these stupid Live Chat people! Ok – no – sorry! Oh, is this- Why is there never a live chat person
when you need one?! Woah woah woah!
You can’t come in here with no pants on! Unbelievable.

6 thoughts on “If We Shopped Offline Like We Do Online | eCommerce Parody

  1. very good, and accurate 🙂 It's clear to see why e-commerce wins the retail game. Although it is interesting when stores pull their digital strategy back into the bricks and mortar world.

  2. Hello! May I publish a part of this video on my business account on Instagram (with the source indication, of course)

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