February 25, 2020
I paid Belle Delphine $3,000 to be my girlfriend

I paid Belle Delphine $3,000 to be my girlfriend

Okay. You know what? I can make a lot of money from this. Belle Delphine: One of the GREATEST minds of our generation. More importantly, Belle Delphine is a WOMAN- …on the internet. Some would call that- being a GIRL GAMER. Now I first heard of Belle from various commentary channels making videos on her. [generic British commentator]: “Alright, for real, what is she trying to accomplish here?” “I mean, she looks she’s has just stubbed her toe, in the corner of a bed or some shit.” “i JuSt DoN’t GeT iT! :(((((((” “There’s multiple videos of her pulling this face.” “‘Why?’ You ask?” “i DoN’t FuCkInG KnOw!” [Pyro]: Alright mate, chill out! CS:GO Surf Gameplay, 2019. If you can’t beat them, join them. Hey guys, so today- I have a crazy topic. And whenever I end a sentence, I zoom out the footage OUT to convey dramatic effect, or alternatively, ZOOM IN the footage to convey drama- I-I can’t do this, this-this is AIDS. It does amaze me though, that in 2019 gameplay commentary is still a thing. SHOW YOUR FACE, MEMEULOUS!!11!11!!! Well, Memeulous overtook me in subs, so uhh… the next video is probably gonna be ClusterTruck ga-gameplay. HEY GUYS! I don’t wanna show my face anymore, I’m pretty uncomfortable. I’m gonna go back to Happy Wheels! [2011 PewDiePie]: “You traitor [quack]!” ^ Alvin Alsac- ki? [Pyro]: You are… a man of wisdom. RIGHT, back on topic: Belle Delphine. And yes! I do have to preface it, I DID steal this video idea from WillNE. Look, after I saw Minecraft™ Steve™ getting a 75k sub day, I HAD a literal panic attack, and rush to make this video, alright? BUT I’M GONNA ONE-UP HIM, BY GIVING HER MORE MONEY! “Is that?” *very loud laughing* Now Belle Delphine, originally started on TikTok, I don’t know if you guys have heard of it, it’s kinda of a niche site. I definitely haven’t made any videos on it. You may remember Belle being on the thumbnail on pretty much, EVERY TikTok reaction ever. [thoomp6x.mp3] Because a video without Belle Delphine in the thumbnail- …seven views. A video WITH Belle Delphine in the thumbnail: FIVE HUNDRED GAJILLION VIEWS!!!!!!!!!!! You guys remember when I did TikTok reactions? Wow! Oh, my goodness. That’s so crazy! Wow. Oh- I can’t believe they did that. Guys- this is just cringe. *chuckles* SNAP! tHat oNE’S gOing iN mY cRinGe CoMpIlAtIoN! Now, one thing Belle seems to be famous for- is doing the ahegao expression. It’s this thing you do in the Chinese cartoons- I don’t really understand it that much. Now, sadly… Belle Delphine, was banned from TikTok. :((( Oh, my God. I couldn’t sleep for five weeks you guys. I actually have no idea why she was banned to be honest. None of her content violated the community guidelines. I mean, I guess you could say it fell under: “Sexual Activity”. I don’t know- mAyBe????? But, by watching her TikToks- I felt personally attacked. So, instead of sexual activity- We’ll chalk it up as cyber-bullying. Now, fortunately, Belle does have a Facebook page. Thank you, God. And on her Facebook page, you do have people occasionally thirsting on her. Here you’ve got this completely “normal” picture of her. And then below: ^ cRlNgE. Now she’s got her Facebook page, but where she’s really taken off- is INSTAGRAM. Again, it’s a niche site, I don’t know if you guys have heard of it. What I love about her licking that katana, It’s probably more safe than licking an envelope. Now her Facebook has a couple of people lightly thirsting on her, Instagram is Noah dividing the oceans of people’s saliva. ^ *sigh of disappointment* Wow, that is so cringe. I love when you’ve just got someone else promoting on her page as well. ^ Parasite. ^ I don’t know, man. It’s almost like there are horny, 12-year-old boys on the internet. I mean, she didn’t really help herself by making that ligma joke. That little chuckle at the end was her soul leaving her body. I made a ligma joke in 2018. What bridge do I jump off this evening? ^ @cartoonlogic: “You have sat on my dick.” I mean, she isn’t helping herself, her pictures are quite provocative. ^ *[oh, my God…]* The thing is- you think they’re savage. But, you go on their profile, they’re probably like… 10. Dr Phil: How are you? Female Teen[?]: Hello, I’m great, how are you? Dr Phil: So, why do you suppose these people are clapping right now? Female Teen[?]: I really don’t know why they’re clapping, I don’t deserve any applause. ^ I have Spongebob as my picture because I’m not comfortable with my appearance, guys. *Mii Channel Theme Music* *heavily distorted bass track* Oh, my God. Why is bass funny? I’m actually retarded though, like- you could have the best comedians come to me and do a performance- and I would not even smirk. But, if you have a loud funny noise in the background, I just instantly laugh. ^ I mean, I’m not gonna lie chief: if you say cringe that many times in a sentence… YOU’RE the one that’s “CrlNgE”. People that say “cringe” are AIDs positive. That’s my fact of the day. She also did a Hit or Miss meme, but- the way that copyright works on YouTube, you could literally HUM the song, and it is fair copyright. So, I had to completely transform the song, and the lyrics to make it a completely new song. Universal Media Group [UMG]. PISS OFF. “….” “One would suggest one would never blunder.” “…a male partner.” “You would also never be one to blunder.” “He would also find another spouse.” “And, never want to miss your presence.” “I can’t do this, this is AIDS!” Also, Belle has a YouTube channel which is pretty epic. She’s only got two videos on there at the minute. One of them was uploaded like, two years ago I’m not gonna bother watching that,

100 thoughts on “I paid Belle Delphine $3,000 to be my girlfriend

  1. Next week: I paid a hooker $20 to give me a mystery STD. Smash Like and subscribe to my patreon for behind the scenes too hot for youtube footage of the dripping pus.

  2. Pyro : makes tens of videos about belle delphine
    Also Pyro : Doesn't make petscop 2
    Everyone : ExUsE mE wHat ThE fUck

  3. The AIDS joke was not funny dude. Lot of people died and some still do but now it’s cause they can’t afford medication. Just have more consideration when making jokes like that.

  4. **Wikipedia : Tik Tok is owned by a mainland Chinese company which the CCP(Chinese Communist Party AKA corrupt asf. government). You've been warned..

  5. It’s not fucking “ahego” and no, she’s actually making a dumb face. Ahegao only really looks hot in actual hentai

    I sound like a fucking degenerate

    (But at least I’m not as much of a degenerate as the people who pay for fucking egirls)

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